Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Children are Precious

Children are precious. They are innocent and should be kept that way for as long as possible.

We, as adults, should protect children from being exposed to anything that takes away that innocence. When my children were little, I never used vulgar words, not just in front of them but when they were not there. I did not tell them to “shut up”. I always said “be quiet” or “hush”. My children were taught to say yes ma’am, no ma’am, thank you, sir and they were corrected when they did not. They were corrected in front of those they should have said it to and in a way as not to embarrass anyone.

I never spoke of adult things with them in the room. It does not matter if you think they are not paying attention…they hear what you are saying! I just cannot help but cringe when I hear parents cussing like sailors in front of their young children. I have one nephew-in-law that was a thug, a bully and druggie. He is now clean, has three children, which he takes very good care of, but he has the worst potty mouth. His three year old son has been heard saying “what the f**k?” Instead of laughing at him, he should be corrected. There should be consequences for his actions. The argument though is, how can you scold him for saying something he hears his daddy saying? Because you teach them that it is not acceptable for them to use that language and make consequences if they do.
My sons were not allowed to watch The Simpsons or wrestling or R-rated movies until they were 17. Bart Simpson was disrespectful to adults and I did not want my sons to learn that. Wrestling is fake for one thing but for another, my sons wrestled rough enough without seeing how to drop each one on the head. I am sure they watched what they wanted at their dad’s or at friend’s but they knew I did not approve.

About a year ago, my younger son told me that when he was about 17, his friend’s were telling jokes. They used a slang word for semen that he had never heard. He had no idea what they were talking about. He just laughed along with them so they would not know. I felt proud that he had not been exposed to that until he was 17, I thought I had done a good job of protecting his innocence. Why do parents still not want this for their children.

I hear mothers all the time asking their two to ten year old children what do they want, to eat, to wear, etc. I witnessed my niece the other day doing this. She pulled every type of fruit cup, raisins and Jell-o out of her cupboard asking her five year old daughter what she wanted for a snack. She said no to every item. Then my niece and I went outside. We saw her daughter sit at the table with an applesauce cup, the first snack she was offered! When my niece, her sister and my boys were little and stayed with me, they ate what I chose for them. If they did not want that, they waited until lunch or dinner. Since they did not have a choice, they never whined about not wanting what I offered. When they get to be teenagers is when this freedom of choice you gave them in their early years becomes a huge problem.
Children are precious, innocent as long as we protect them. They should be taught from birth to respect their elders, other people’s property and other’s possessions. There should always be consequences for their actions including what comes out of their mouth. I believe consistency and routine is the key to being successful.
This is just my opinion, please feel free to comment yours.

5 comments:

Laurie said...

I couldn't agree with you more, my friend. Kids are little mirrors and sponges. They mimic us and they hear us, even when we don't think they are paying any attention at all. Children thrive on routine, consistency and knowing the consequences of their actions. They need to know someone else is in control and that they can trust that person to be firm and honest. This is how the child learn limits, learns about security, learns about trust, learns about self-respect ... it's all important and it all starts young.

There's a wonderful song from "Into the Woods" called "Children Will Listen" ... a few lines say it all:

Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
Co learn what to be
Careful before you say "Listen to me"
Children will listen...

Sydney said...

Wonderful post Donna. Things that need to be heard loudly these days. From your blog to the eyes of those who really need to know it!

meb said...

Spot on Donna. And the pix of the children are beautiful. Such cute kids. And they all look so happy. I'm sure you were and are a great mom. Thanks for the reminder to those who needed it.

My wv is gatuat... is that a cuss word? Smile

Anonymous said...

Beautiful children, Donna! I agree with your words. I'm not sure when things started changing, but I have noticed all the things you mention. The choice given to young children is one in particular that drives me crazy. But, mostly, what children need is a good person like you to tell them about values and respect and give them, as you say, a respite from being an adult as long as we can. Good post, thank you for saying it.

Donna in Alabama said...

These are pics of my five great nieces and nephews. The infant is the youngest girl in the other pics. She is now 2.
Thank you all for commenting! My niece who is the mother of the boy and girl by the Christmas tree, is just like me. She is raising hers like I have discribed. She is so much like me, you would think she was mine.